Douglas Young

We gravitate towards different things for different reasons. One of the reasons I’m pursuing a degree in Conflict Resolution and Reconciliation is that I am tired of not effectively handling conflict. My desire for peace has thrust me into something through which God can use me to make a difference.

Brad Palmore recently completed the MACRR program and was instrumental in convincing me to pursue it, as well. Brad has begun a series of blog posts that deal with Church Systems. His insights are deep and will test you, but it has been worth it so far. I can’t wait to see where he goes. But if you yearn to better understand Church Systems- how they operate, why they operate the way they do, and why things have developed the way they have- then I think you need to subscribe to his blog. Here is a link to his first post in this series.

I used to work under the impression that my God-given role gave as a husband and father was tantamount to iron-fist, dictatorial leadership. Obviously, and unfortunately, it manifested itself in the most unhealthy ways. I should have known better. I actually think I did, but I did very little to change it. After all, it was what I thought was expected and I didn’t want people to think I was soft.

Real leadership, though, takes others, especially one’s family, into consideration. Leadership isn’t synonymous with Dictatorship. God wants men to be leaders in the home, not dictators of the home.

This leads to the subject of spirituality. Sadly, it often seems that women are the more spiritual of the two in a lot of family units. My wife for years yearned for me to lead my family in our spiritual walk. It is amazing how easy it is to get wrapped up in others to the neglect of one’s own family. I was willing to try to lead my church in devotions, but not my family. But no more.

Moreover, I have friends who’ve sat in my office crying and wishing the same from their husbands. Ironically, we often don’t lead, not because we don’t necessarily know how, but rather because we are ashamed that we don’t as we should. It’s a trap, one from which we find it difficult to break free.

Below is a song by Sanctus Real that speaks to this very issue. It is an amazing song, with one of the most powerful messages that could be offered to husbands and fathers. It is an acoustic rendition and the singer/writer takes a few moments to elaborate on how the song came into being. If you are like me, or if you are a spouse who wishes for your husband to assume his place in your life, it will resonate with you. So take a deep breath and soak it in.