There may be nothing more frustrating in interpersonal relationships than having to deal with dishonest people. I don’t know if it will help or not, but I found it therapeutic to enumerate characteristics of dishonest people. Maybe just maybe, insight into how they function might help us understand and endure the difficulties that come with interacting with them. Continue Reading…
The Missing Element
You ready for a laugh?
I once took a home economics class in high school. I think I did it because I figured there would be a lot of girls in the class, but it also could have been because I had little hopes that I’d find a female who would help take care of me. Regardless, I was either shallow or desperate, and I’m not certain which one was more telling. Continue Reading…
It Is Time…
I am quietly resurfacing here, but it is not without trepidation.
There’s something about blogging that is delightful and intriguing. In no time, you are able to publish something that the entire world is capable of reading. There can’t be much cooler than that. Those aspiring to write, but who have no forum to do so, can be up and running in a matter of minutes.
That is only one side of the coin though. On the other side is an image that suggests it’s not all its cracked up to be.
Blogging has become its own living, breathing organism. Since I’m back in the dog ownership business, I can equate it to our beautiful Rhodesian Ridgeback, Spirit. And like a puppy you get for your kids, you can raise it up well or you can treat it so poorly that it becomes a major frustration.
There are guys out there like Jeff Goins, Brian Allain, and Robb Sutton who are, essentially, blog coaches. I’ve read blogging books by all three. They most assuredly know what they are doing, but with knowledge comes responsibility, and with responsibility come expectations. It’s the expectations, regardless of whether they are yours or that of another, that can make blogging so arduous and frustrating.
It’s one thing to be afforded the avenue to put something out for the entire world to see, but it’s another thing put stuff out there that others want to see. You see… That’s only part of what it takes to generate traffic. Consistency becomes another key, and that’s where a lot of us fall short. It’s been one of the myriad issues that have held me back for sure.
But I now feel it is time. For those who’ve sent me emails asking me if I’ve given up on blogging, I hope this is another step to that speaks to my resounding “No!” Thanks to the guys I cited above who are putting out tools to help. I’ve learned a lot from all three of you. My hope is to put forth a product worth reading.
How You Can Have It Both Ways And Not Regret It….
For some people everything must be black or white. If not, then the fear is that relativity, not objectivity, will reign. But the clear distinctiveness between the colors black and white do not necessitate the conclusion they are mutually exclusive, right? Though distinct, the two can merge together. Hence, we have the color gray.
Primary colors, though distinct and independent of one another, when put together create other colors. Yellow and blue make green. These are facts we know to be true. But to juxtapose the combination of primary colors in making secondary colors with convictions of who or what is right… Well….Some just will not go there.
This may be why litigation has such an appeal to some types of people. It affords a clear winner and loser. One is in the “the right,” the other is in “the wrong.” Hard, fast lines are drawn and rarely, if ever, can both be right.
Mediation, though, suggests otherwise. According to Christopher W. Moore, mediation affords parties “a mutually acceptable settlement,” and through such you can have it both ways and not regret it!
Unlike any other form of dispute resolution, mediation makes it possible to either preserve or restore a relationship. When conflict must be an either/or proposition, it is hard for the loser to not leave bitter. But when both parties negotiate with each other coming out as winners, neither has to leave harboring anger or resentment.
In conflict management, there are alternatives to the win-lose mentality. But it’s no cake-walk! It takes a willingness to collaborate and composure unlike anything else to make it happen. But happen it can.
Do you find it difficult to collaborate?
Is it all or nothing for you?
Are you miserable if you don’t get your way in all things?
There is a better way! Seek to collaborate. If at all possible, mediate and not litigate. By so doing, you can have it both ways and not regret it.
Why I Seek Peace…
People, especially my friends, often chuckle when they think of me having a Master’s Degree in Conflict Resolution. It’s not because they think it’s a silly degree, but rather because I tend to be rather argumentative and am notorious for liking to be in the middle of conflict. The notion of me pursuing peace seems paradoxical.
My friend and mentor, Joey Cope, a lawyer and mediator, suggested to me that many conflict-oriented people are looking towards degrees like the one I got from ACU because they are tired of the conflict into which they are mired and are looking to find solutions for resolving it. He definitely had me pegged!
Why else would I spend two years, and a lot of money, pursuing such? I can promise you it wasn’t because I was bored!
Some people just love to be generators of conflict. They live for it. It’s their element. But it is, speaking from personal experience, a painful way to live.
That degree didn’t instantaneously change me. I still struggle. I still need to keep my mouth shut, instead of offering my unsolicited opinions to others on things not related to me. I get myself into trouble that way. But my recognition and admission of it, as well as my intentional movement away from such, is a sign that I’m headed in the right direction.
Want to join me?
