Douglas Young

Reese, Aby & Haylee

Our kids spent a week away from us with Tisha’s parents, but now we are reunited. It was only a week, but it seemed like forever. They’ve spent a week away from us before, but for some reason this time it was different. They were safe and with people they love, but the distance between us and them still creates a feeling of despair.

I suppose this is what it feels like when He is separated from his children. He must yearn to be close to them. He must think about them all the time.

When we landed at Houston Hobby on Thursday, Tisha’s dad brought Haylee and Aby to pick us up at the airport. Tisha and I were both greeted with as big a hugs as our girls could offer. Those are moments I shall never forget.

The kids, especially Haylee and Reese, have been particularly clingy the last few days. I don’t mind it at all. I suspect, to a certain degree, that’s the way it ought to be. Isn’t that what God wants from us?

I don’t have a clue if there was a graduation ceremony for my class before we transitioned into 1st grade. I know this, though, it wasn’t up until a couple of years ago that I recall ever hearing of such a thing. Now, that could be because I either have a poor memory (I do at times!) or have simply been so out of touch that it doesn’t ring a bell (Too, a distinct possibility!). Nevertheless, in the last couple of years, because my children have been through the experience, I’ve witnessed kindergarten graduations.

The first thought might be to roll your eyes. After all, it is what I did Wednesday as I stood next to other parents who, too, were witnessing what might have been the most momentous occasion a six year-old could have. Right?

I had a lot to do. It was a Wednesday morning, after all. But such thoughts are the lingering baggage of… a horrible attitude. Sorry if all of you who were agreeing with me are now ticked off.

Kindergarten may not be a big deal to some of us, but on Wednesday it became apparent to me that it was to a bunch of six year-old boys and girls. Moreover, it was a big deal to several teachers, especially, my son’s teacher, Mrs. Aucutt. And I know it was a big deal for the music teacher, Tracy Tankersly, who coordinated a performance that I will never forget. My son’s kindergarten graduation was incredible!

It is amazing how seemingly silly moments can become monumental. Nor would I would never want to take away the joy in my son’s eyes as ran to me, grabbed my hand, and took me on the floor to dance the chicken dance with other parents and their kids. He would have been crushed had I said, “This is stupid. I’m not hanging around for this.” Reese wouldn’t get that moment back, and no matter how hard I might have tried, I would never be able to make up that moment. Sure, life would go on, and 12 years from now he will more than likely graduate high school, but I would hate to continue to live harboring guilt and shame because I had treated something like a kindergarten graduation as trivial. After all, it was anything but trivial.

One of my favorite stories in Scripture is when Jesus’ disciples tried to whisk away parents and little children that rushed to see Jesus. Jesus essentially told them to back off and let the little children come to him because such were the kingdom of God (Luke 18:15-17; Matthew 19:13-15). They were bringing infants to let them have the Messiah’s touch, and to let Him pray over them, and that was something important. The disciples thought otherwise. Jesus seemingly said, “You just don’t get it!” Too often, I am more like the disciples than I am the Messiah.

Every moment with our children can be a special gift of God’s grace. The more we embrace them, the more we become like Jesus. And that, my friends, is what discipleship is all about (Luke 6:40).

This morning Tisha and I sat in on a bible class on parenting. It consisted of a video where a man presented material based on the story of the prodigal son. It was well done.

Earlier this year, I read Henri Nouwen’s book on the prodigal story. I couldn’t help but reflect upon how I was so unlike the parable’s father figure. It just proved how far removed I am from the heart of the Father.

Interestingly enough, as I see it, the material presented in the video pushed the parenting envelope. The regular attendees of the class suggested that what was being taught, principally, was unique by way of the prodigal story. And such makes sense. Given what we’ve been taught about parenting, the prodigal’s father did everything wrong.

1. He didn’t put his foot down to his son when he demanded his inheritance. Remember, demanding his inheritance was tantamount to saying, “I wish you were dead.”
2. He didn’t rub it in his son’s face, upon his return, suggesting he was stupid for what he did.
3. He didn’t punish him, but instead he had compassion on him and threw him a party.

These are just a few of the noteworthy things that the father didn’t do. Yet, many of us would suggest that such was poor parenting, wouldn’t we?  But isn’t the father…God? Does that even matter? Does it, in any way, make a difference in how I should live out my own personal, fatherhood? It should. But to do so would send mixed messages wouldn’t it?

I’m glad I sat in that class today. It got me to thinking more about whose pattern should we be following. It wasn’t the same old tired mantra we’ve heard for years. It challenged us to see parenting from God’s perspective…something I simply haven’t done.