Archives For Conflict

The Genesis of Conflict

admin —  September 14, 2012 — Leave a comment

Conflict management is about more than simply navigating through tension and turmoil in various settings. Conflict management takes into account things that precipitate and arouse conflict. Conflict isn’t the beginning point; circumstances and other factors serve as its catalysts.

So what are some things that breed interpersonal conflict?

             Personalities

             Close-mindedness

             Power struggles

             Misconceptions and Misunderstandings

             Hatred

Conflict management techniques are helpful to us when in the midst of disagreements and disputes, but without an understanding of what engenders interpersonal strife we’ll continue to find ourselves at the center of conflict.

Next week, I plan to elaborate on the factors cited above in an effort to assist readers in recognizing what may be driving conflict. If you can see how these things factor into conflict scenarios, you may be able to counteract with the power of insight, sensitivity and maneuverability!

 

The Face Can Say It All

Sometimes you don’t have to say a thing. Your face will speak volumes…

In interpersonal relationships, you sometimes don’t have to say a thing to get your message across. Your face can say it all.

Whatever…

Give me a break…

You think you know it all…

Loser…

I wish you’d shut up and listen to me…

A facial expression is a prime mode of communication. Non-verbals communicate significantly more than even the words we convey. In fact, a facial expression may be the utmost means of getting a point across, but it can also turn on you.

The problem with facial non-verbals is that they are often derived as instinctive responses. We don’t think before we produce the expression. This is terribly unfortunate.

Suppose a friend approaches you with creative idea for a business partnership. Because you haven’t let him finish, and you think the idea is silly, you roll your eyes suggesting: “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!” Your friend gets the picture, walks away, and approach someone else with the proposition.

You don’t have to say a single thing to make your point. The rolling of the eyes communicated with crystal clarity. But because you inconsiderately approached the situation, refusing to listen to your friend, and chose to communicate solely through non-verbals, you wind up being the one who looks bad. It’s true. I know from experience. I’ve had to listen to how my non-verbals have turned people off.

Your facial expressions may be a tipping point in your interpersonal dialogues. They may get you a job or get you fired. So please get this point… You may not say a word to communicate your point. After all, your face can say it all!

 

At the moment, it seems most people either love or hate Chick-Fil-A. I have no feelings about Chick-Fil-A save that they offer an overpriced sandwich, and that overcharging has had implications over the course of Judeo-Christian eras. But that’s their problem not mine.

At the moment, it seems most either love Ryan Lochte or loathe him. He’s not Michael Phelps. In fact, he’s beaten Michael Phelps– who needed to be beaten because he smoked or smokes (choose the suffix of your choice) marijuana– so you love him. Or, he choked in a relay the US had in their back pocket, so you’re ticked he still gets all the hype. He’s in the process of vindicating himself but either way most either love him or hate him for some reason.

And then there’s President Obama. I still believe it’s right to refer to the man as “President.” People on the right who simply refer to him as “Obama” really frustrate me, BTW. Whether you like it or not, he’s the sitting President and he deserves respect. I didn’t vote for him, but then again I didn’t vote for the other guy either. I guess that puts me somewhere in the middle but I still don’t care. In politics, it will always be “the lesser of two evils.” I know it. I accept it. But I don’t think most people think like me. Most, whether they voted for him or not either love him or hate him.

Apparently there’s a need for polarization. People need to be at the extremes. Of course this is so, without polarization there’s little room for conflict, and without conflict life would be peaceful… err…boring.

Living at an extreme means you’re pretty stinkin’ close to an edge. If not careful, you’re going to fall off. That would be unfortunate. It’s your risk to take, but don’t cry when you fall off. You’ll only be getting what you deserve. So be careful, your lust for an opponent may push you over the edge.

I’ve come to prefer dealing with people who aren’t living at the extremes. They are more reasonable. They think about themselves, others, and how their actions my permeate the ever-impressive world around them.There’s little doubt in my mind that the world would would be a better place without such polarization. Some might need it but not me.

 

 

We find ourselves in conflict for a lot of reasons. Our interests- the things we are looking to gain- are one of the most significant driving forces behind all conflict. Interests take on several forms. Our interests can be about things (Substantive), processes (Procedural) or relationships (Emotional/Psychological), and the degree Continue Reading…

Picking Fights

douglasryoung —  June 11, 2012 — 2 Comments

At my core, I’m a fighter. I guess I enjoy it. I’ve been in my fare share of physical tussles over the years. I’m happy to say it’s been over 15 years. I guess 15 years of marriage can tone a person down after all. But I must also concede that there have been times when I wanted to unleash all I have on another person. Thankfully, self-control ruled the day.

I like to argue, as well. Too many people know this to be true. And while I’m not nearly as inclined to do so anymore, I still love Continue Reading…