Archive - June, 2010

Eyes

June 7, 2010 in Journal with 3 Comments

The eyes may say more than any audible expression ever could. Yesterday, as I spent my last day with 16th & Pile as their preacher, I looked into a lot of eyes. Some were tearful, others joyful, but the eyes said it all.

I am glad that we aren’t moving far away because there are people here who mean a lot to us. It is hard to forge solid relationships in such a short period of time, but we’ve been able to do that here.

I hate that they seem so defeated, though. I hate that they feel so marginalized.

We all struggled with the words, but the eyes… they didn’t struggle at all. Thank you. Love you.

What Divorce Mediation Has Shown Me

June 3, 2010 in Ministry with 1 Comment

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a minister’s study, but for the first time I had my Macbook with me. To the group, this seemed odd. I asked if the hosting church had an open wireless signal because I needed internet access. Why? I was in the middle of trying to mediate a divorce for my graduate class, Advanced Mediation: Marital Disputes.

When I apprised the group of what I was doing, they were somewhat shocked. I understand why. After all, we are ministers and we feel like it is our duty to save marriages, not facilitate them coming to an end.

Before the class started, I had serious reservations about it. The class title told me one thing, but the reading titles (Divorce and Family Mediation & Mediating Divorce: A Step-By-Step Manual) suggested something else. I’ve known from the beginning that divorce mediation was a significant part of the curriculum and that I was going to have jump in with both feet, but my feelings from ministry led me to be resistant to it. I want to preserve marriages, if at all possible, not help them amicably come to an end. On the surface, is anything more illogical than a minister trying to mediate a divorce?

But here I am, five weeks into it, and I’m pleasantly surprised. Most, if not all, of my fears are gone and another point is proven: perspective is everything. This class, especially the role-playing, has been as beneficial to me as 10 years worth of hands on ministry experiences. No joke. The mediation process is as valuable as gold because the process, worked in the right way, lends itself to reconciliation. And that is what God cares about most (2 Corinthians 5:18-19). It creates opportunities that, more than likely, would not be had any other way. This may not mean that two people don’t divorce, but it does mean that a process is experienced that can be capitalized in so many ways to revolutionize one’s life. This isn’t hyperbole, either. I’m serious!

The mediation process affords us techniques that can be used just about anywhere, at any time, and at any place. Best of all, when used proactively, it can really change the course of things if people are really pursuing peace. Of course, I learned this week one in Negotiation and Mediation: you have to have two parties who are willing to sit down and discuss things if reconciliation is ever to be possible. It would be nice, across the board, if we had more people who were willing to calmly sit down and be peacemakers. After all, that is what we are called to be (Matthew 5:9; Hebrews 12:14).

Do They Get Along?

June 1, 2010 in Church with 3 Comments

If you are in need of insurance, Clovis NM is the place to come! Insurance agencies are in abundance. Take your pick from any of the big boys: Allstate, Farmers or State Farm. Or you can go with one of a number of independent agents. There’s definitely no shortage of insurance agencies from which to choose.

Consequently, I’ve noticed that when it comes to Farmers and State Farm agencies, in particular, there are more than just a few of each. On my short drive to the office I count four different State Farm agencies and there is at least one more not on my route to the office.  Knowing the insurance business is extremelycompetitive, I wonder if all the State Farm agents get along. Is there enough business to go around, or does the competition create tension? Do these agents, serving the same company, get along? I’ve come to learn something of an answer to the question. After all, I’m a fan of my State Farm agent, Mike Morris, the one not on my route to the office.

Over the years, I haven’t had the best of relationships with other preachers in communities where I’ve lived. My relationship with ministers of other faiths was non-existent, but it wasn’t much better with those of other Churches of Christ.

Especially in the South, Churches of Christ are ubiquitous in communities. Large cities are prone to having tons of congregations. Sadly, though, a lot of small communities are prone to having a significant number of them, as well. I’m no longer certain whether this is good or bad. We are a people who’ve been prone to division. Much of that division is born out of people believing they were doing the right thing, which may or may not have actually been the case. That it looks so terrible that communities of 10,000 or less might have five or more congregations, I wish more would see. All you have to do is ask around and you’ll discover that we’ve marginalized ourselves because we struggle to get along with one another.  

My time in Clovis, though, has been different for me personally. I have a wonderful relationship with Larry Tittle, the preacher for the West 21st Street Church of Christ. He’s become a very dear friend to me. In the year that I’ve been with 16th & Pile, we have done a lot together. We’ve played golf, had coffee, ate lunch, worshiped, studied, and prayed with each other. We’ve done all of these activities, and more, on more than one occasion.

I am proud of the relationship Larry and I have forged. Sadly, I am on my way to the NM Christian Children’s Home and will no longer be preaching at 16th, but that doesn’t mean we will no longer be getting together. After all, Portales, NM is only 20 miles from Clovis.

Here’s what I love most: for the last twelve months, anyone who might have wondered if the preachers from the 16th & Pile Church of Christ and the West 21st St. Church of Christ got along could be answered in the affirmative!
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