01.06.2010
For some reason, I cannot envision myself rushing to the feet of Jesus, washing them with my tears, and then kissing them. And this bothers me greatly. Jesus means a lot to me, but I don’t know if he means that much. This bothers me even more.
I’m not appalled, like the Pharisee was, by what Jesus allowed the “sinner” of a woman to do (Luke 7:36-50). But I am, somewhat, appalled by my own reluctance to think I could do the same. I suppose this could be reflective of the Pharisaic spirit that might reside in me. This bothers me, maybe, the most.
A bible class I taught this morning has really unsettled my soul about the quality of homage I have for the One who redeemed me. This, I believe, is good. I’m being shown the power of the Word at work. The living Word is at work, drawing me to Himself, which is where I want to be. Moreover, it’s where I need to be.
douglasryoung.net
I think, if I could function at all in His presence, washing His feet would be easy. It’s the feet of my peers that I would have trouble with and that’s not an easy thing to admit. Because, as people like you have taught me, Doug, until I’m willing to do that, I am not His good and faithful servant. Thanks for giving me more to think about and more direction from afar.
thanks for sharing this, it’s something important for us all to think about
at least for me, I have been drilled as a child about “decently and in order”
reverence=silence,
what does and doesn’t constitute worship, that I also feel confused or hesitant about expressing love in extravagant ways.
I guess part of it is personality as well, some people can more easily express themselves, or do acts when others might want to do but hesitate.
What would worship without apprehension, concern for what people think look like?? It would get us kicked out of many churches….
Melanie and Brian…Thank you for your continued input.
Hi Brother ,
Your articles are very good useful
These are very good thoughts Doug. We have denied our true feelings for so long we hardly recognize them when they our pounding our insides begging to get out. Like another commenter wrote on “keeping silent”, etc. There are many, many times I have felt so compelled to raise my hands in praise during certain songs that move me to tears or to say an “Amen” or “Preach on brother”, yet I always resist because of fear. Fear of what others will think of me and fear of offending someone and then I always wonder; when I resist such a very strong and sincere urge, am I quenching the Holy Spirit or resisting the Holy Spirit?
Doug, I know I couldn’t do it in that setting — I couldn’t even walk into a room full of people who thought I was (basically) less than human, even if some of them had been my clients. The shame would overwhelm me, I think.
On a related note, I love Jesus’ little joke: “Simon, do you see this woman?” Not only has Simon been staring at her ever since she walked in, he hasn’t seen her. He never does *SEE* her.
I love the God who sees me, even though I’m too cowardly to do much about it.