Archive - May, 2009

The Help that Comes from God

I’ve come to realize that Paul used his story just about everywhere he went as a means of testifying to the matchless grace of God. In Acts 26, before Agrippa and Festus, he remained true to form.

His experiences were powerful, riveting and indicative of an uncanny strength. But from where was it derived? And how?

Paul answers the first question in his proclamation: “To this day I have had the help that comes from God, and so I stand here testifying both to small and great, saying nothing but what the prophets and Moses said would come to pass” (Acts 26:22, ESV). The Jews wouldn’t back off. In part, that’s why he’s before Agrippa. He’d only been saying what Moses and prophets had long before foresaw and forewarned. What was so bad about that?

That was to be expected though. What most bothers me is why Paul would leave these two men, and now me, hanging as to the “how” of God’s strength. Didn’t he know he would be leaving them and others hanging? Didn’t Luke know that eventually I would be asking this question? Why leave us wondering?

I’m convinced that God doesn’t necassarily want us to know the specifics of this question. Maybe its to keep us from becoming prideful about it all. Maybe its to keep us guessing. Nevertheless, Paul was 100% convinced he had “a help that comes from God,” and may we all yearn for the same thing!

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might” (Ephesians 6:10, ESV)

A Letter to Tisha Young

Tisha,

It’s hard to believe that as of Sunday we’ve been married 12 years. I’m sorry that the weekend didn’t make it conducive for celebration. I promise to make it up to you!

This is the last of my letters, at least for now. I’m writing it to you, because of earthly relationships yours in most important to me. Unfortunately, I don’t sense that words will suffice. I’m not even convinced I have them in me.

What you thought you were getting in me and what you got were two different things. Be that as it may, you have accepted this and adapted amazingly well. I’ve led you on a high speed roller coaster ride that’s been as rough as The Texas Cyclone and full of sharp turns like Space Mountain. I’m glad you like roller coasters though. I wish I could say all of it was purposeful, but we know the truth.

Things haven’t been easy, but I do believe that we were made for each other. As Eve was made for Adam, so you are taylor-made for me. You are the perfect complement. When I’m weak, you are strong. When you are weak, I am strong. That, alone, settles it for me. But we both know there’s a lot more to it than that. You are an amazing wife. I’m just sorry that I don’t show you that enough.

Thank you for being the spouse and mother you are. Like me, I think you are often too hard on yourself. I think we have amazing kids and we owe that to you. Thank you.

Thank you for your faith in God and your willingness to put your faith to the test. You’ve put James 2 into serious practice, and lives have forever been changed as a result. What you did for the Gappas was one thing, but you haven’t stopped there. Thank you for your willingness to quit just talking about faith and instead live thereby. You’ve been monumental in my life because of it.

I wish I had more certainty and clarity about what is before us, but I don’t. Thankfully, we are in this thing together for the long haul. So let’s climb either into the very front cart on our rollercoaster, buckle-up, and go for a ride.

With a Love that is from God,

Doug

Tisha Young

Tisha Young


Hiding in Shells

A while back, Tisha and I met the Gappas at the Heard Museum to spend some time together. We talked as we walked the trails, carving our way deep into the wetland area. In that area, the pathway is a bridge made by local Boy Scouts. As we walked along the bridge, we noted more turtles than we could count. Many were perched in clusters on ubiquitous logs. There they silently sat.

The ones closest to us, as we passed by, would normally hide inside their carapaces. Those shells are a means of protection and safety for turtles, essential for their survival. I chuckled as we passed by, thinking, “Why are they afraid of us? We can’t hurt them.”

Like turtles, we often find ourselves retreating into our own protective shells as we come across our own passers by, many of whom have never done anything to us. It’s understandable to respond like that when there is a history, but it seems odd that such would happen when there is no particular history. Life’s experiences, though, often spill over and sometimes it becomes difficult to see which is which. But may we never forget the words of the Hebrews writer, who quotes God’s words to Joshua, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Joshua 1:5; Hebrews 13:5), so that we can confidently say with the Psalmist, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” (Psalm 118:6; Hebrews 13:6).

A Letter to the Gappas

Tisha, Sam and Doug

Context

In late 2004 or early 2005, Tisha had heard through her sister Tara Matson about a Dallas couple, Jon and Tami Gappa, who discovered their infant son Sam had been diagnosed with cancer. The end result of a surgery to remove the tumor was that his kidneys would never regain function. For the next three-plus years, little Sam would be dialysis dependent.

Naturally, a kidney transplant was essential. When pursuing “living donors,” the Gappas soon discovered that due to blood issues neither of them were viable donor options. Tisha’s sister sent out an email to friends in her address book inquiring as to whether or not they would be interested in testing to see if they might be a viable match. I remember Tisha asking me if I cared if she was tested. Thinking nothing about it, I said “Sure.” We weren’t related to the family in any way. We didn’t even know them. The odds definitely weren’t in her favor.

Matches for kidney transplants are based on a series of six markers. Normally, a good parental match will have three of six markers. According to the test results, Tisha had four of six markers. Tisha was by far the best candidate and now things were getting serious. Very serious.

Naturally, there was some hesitancy. Amazingly enough, it wasn’t so much about the health concerns on Tisha’s part as it was about things like ramifications on health and life insurances. How would one less kidney affect our ability to possibly change health insurance or lock in another 20-year term life policy? These were our concerns. But when we thought about it, we realized that they weren’t things that ultimately mattered when compared with what the Gappas had to lose. We thought about what it would be like if we lost Reese, who is the same age as Sam. Tisha was convinced that we must move forward with the process.

There were two other significant concerns as well. We worried about how the possible rejection of Tisha’s kidney by Sam might affect us. It was beyond our control, but it nevertheless was a feeling that we considered grave. But the feeling that would come over us, should Tisha back out, was much worse.

The other concern was what others were thinking about what Tisha was doing. Tisha had a husband and three kids, and there were more than a few who let us know that they thought the transplant was unwise. That was painful. Thankfully, faith got us both through, but we were still concerned about what people were suggesting.

It took a while for things to develop, but finally a surgery was planned for April of 2007 at Lucille Packard in Palo Alto, CA. Two weeks before the transplant, though, it was called off due to concerns about recurring cancer in Sam. Later in early 2008, Sam would endure another surgery to resolve the cancer predicament. He recovered quickly and in August of 2008, we all flew to California where Tisha gave one of her kidneys to 4 year-old, Sam Gappa.

Both recovered quickly. Tisha was out of the hospital in four days. Sam actually came home from California about a month earlier than he was supposed to. To this day, both are doing extremely well. Sam is growing and doing things that before he wasn’t allowed to do.

Jon Gappa preserves the whole story, from September of 2004 through March of 2009, in an online journal at http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/samgappa/history.htm.

Dear Sam, Jon and Tami,

Of late, I’ve been writing letters once a week to those who mean the most to me. I don’t even know if you guys read my blog, but all of them thus far are there. From the beginning, my intentions were to save my last two letters for you guys and Tisha. This is my second to the last letter, my letter to you.

First, We love you more than words can describe. You aren’t just friends to us, you are family. The joys you’ve brought to our lives have no corresponding words. Awe, in so many forms, is all that can be produced.

Second, I believe the kind of hell you’ve been through for the last five years would ruin an average family. I’ve grown to discover that experiences, many of which are less taxing than yours has been, do often deconstruct the family unit. I’ve actually seen homes crumble due to much less than what you guys have gone through. But you’ve all been amazingly and immensely resilient. You’ve got courage unlike any three people I’ve ever met.

Third, to a great extent, through you, we’ve found ourselves. Tisha now knows how much faith she has in God. As I know you’ve come to believe, her part in Sam’s story was a faith thing. In the past, we believed that faith was just a “head thing,” all the while knowing that’s its much more than that. Faith is lived out through action that reflects the nature of one’s faith (James 2). She believes that giving up her kidney for Sam was her way of doing her part in God’s kingdom.

You see, we believe in discipleship (Matthew 28:18-20), and discipleship is about doing what the Messiah did. His gravest concern was for others. Ultimately, he gave his life so that we wouldn’t have to.

We aren’t perfect and we are still learning, but fortunately discipleship is an ongoing process. To Tisha, if he could lay down his life, she could part with a kidney. Her conviction was that God would see her through it. And he did.

Our families will never be the same. Nor should they be. Please tell “Little Genius” that “Uncle Dough Dough” is stronger today because of him. I hope that because of the influence you’ve had on me, that I too am becoming a much better father. We love you and always will!

Doug

Social Power!

Retreat

Later this afternoon, Tisha and I will be heading to a couples retreat that we are extremely excited about. It will be a wonderful opportunity for us to get away together, and with other Christian ministers and their wives, hopefully find some serious clarity about our roles as servants of our Savior. I will be back with another letter on Monday.

Many have inquired privately about the Gappas and the story of how they literally became our family. Next week my letter will be to them, but I promise to provide a context to it. They are special people and we would not be the same had we never met them. I’ll explain why on Monday.

Here’s a parting shot to think about for the next couple of days. Of late I’ve been giving considerable thought to Galatians 6:9, particularly, how easy it is to grow weary in service to God. In a results driven world, we yearn for them in areas where they often take time. Sometimes it takes a long time. Nevertheless, Paul conveys the certainty of a harvest at “harvest time.” It might help if we understood when “harvest time” will come, but God, “who gives the increase” (1 Corinthians 3:6), is in control of that one! The sooner we accept this point, the better off we will be.

Last night, one of our members, David Owen, afforded us with excellent invitation thoughts about not giving up. That, of course, is part of the Galatians 6:9 equation. We will reap “if we do not give up.” How fitting that David would so ably speak of a subject that I’d been giving so much thought about. And he was right, we cannot afford to give up when things don’t go as we’d like or when the results we long for do not immediately come. A harvest is coming, so let’s be patient and prayerful that God will do his part!

My prayer is that you have a good weekend and that things unfold in your life that speak to the greatness of the God that has redeemed us in his son and has “raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:6).

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