A Letter to Rinda Young (Mom)

Mom,

Let me begin by saying that I do not have a terminal disease. I promise. I know you, and I know you’re wondering why I am doing this letter business. People always seem to do this kind of thing when something’s wrong with them physically. It’s OK. Take a deep breath and wipe away your tears. Nothing is wrong with me.

Mom, you have the most amazing heart of anyone I know. I mean it. It’s why you are respected by so many. It’s why so many love you! What will you not do for others that’s within your power? I can’t think of anything.

You are tender yet tough! At times you can be very tough. Maybe that’s what’s most amazing about you. You can be tough and tender at the same time. It’s a gift that not all have. You’ve developed yours well.

I find myself frequently dreaming of the night I walked along Hwy 181 from the Griffith Ranch. Someone who had been there with me saw me walking in the ditch towards Skidmore and picked me up. They took me to Billy Beyer’s where you picked me up from there. I sense that dad was there for some reason too, but I can’t quite recall for sure. For reasons we both know, my memory would be pretty sketchy about that night, but I remember you trying to talk me into the car and me shoving you. For years I’ve wished it didn’t happen, but I am confident it did. What a thing to have to revisit every so often in a dream. To be honest, I think about it more than you’d ever imagine, not just in my dreams.

My life has been filled with all sorts of “low points” but none lower than that one. A mother, who loved me unconditionally, should never have had to experience something like that. No one trying to help another person should have to experience such a thing, but for certain not one’s mother.

So mom, in my eyes you are the personification of grace and I think the heart I am currently cultivating inside of me is yours. To me, its proof that God puts a little more in us from our parents than mere physical traits. I told someone not long ago that when I tear up while I’m preaching or reading a book or watching a movie that its a quality I get from you. And I’m not ashamed of it either. I’ve got a lot of dad in me too, and I don’t think its bad either, but this thing I’ve got going on inside of me is something I got from you. So thank you.

Mom, thank you for being you. I am proud of what you’re doing for yourself physically. I am proud of the mother and grandmother you are. But even more than that, I am proud of the wonderful, Christian woman you are. Sure you struggle. Join the club. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it (Matthew 7:13-14).

We (Myself, Tisha, Haylee, Aby & Reese) all love you! We hope  to see you very, very soon!