Douglas Young

Several days ago, I read a review of Kevin Roose’s book The Unlikely Disciple by John Dobbs that so intrigued me that I had to go to Barnes & Noble the next day and get a copy. It’s an amazingly well-written book that captivates the reader in a number of different ways. What’s most intrigued me has been his concessions about stereotypes.

I am not going to go into the nature of Roose’s experiment. You can read John’s review to get the jist of it. Or you can watch the YouTube video below to get an idea about what the book’s about. But I will say that, insofar as I’ve read, Roose reveals an inherent danger in buying into certain traditional stereotypes. Sometimes things aren’t as we might expect, nor as they might seem. That’s the danger in making irrational judgments about people without considering the authenticity of a person. Formulating opinions of people based upon ethnic, gender, socio-economic and religious stereotypes is shallow, lazy and inconsiderate.

Jesus crushed the complex ethnic and religious stereotypes of both Jews and Samaritans by engaging a Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well (John 4) and telling a parable of a Samaritan who helped man, presumably a Jew, left for dead (Luke 10:25-37). He sought to change conceptions of how Kingdom people looked at others. Stereotyping disrespects others and leaves us in the dark about the reality of people.

If you are a person who gets no further with people than a silly stereotype, think about what you might be missing! You may miss out on the opportunity of affording one the “good news.” You may miss out on your own personal elucidation concerning people about whom you are misguided. Get to know people deeply. Try to understand where they’re coming from. If we do, we’ll be more effective as salt and light to the world (Matthew 5:13-16).

The Unlikely Disciple

Life is fast-paced, full of turns, and loaded with obstacles that we’ve got to be able to maneuver around.

Look around. The world is a mess. How are we supposed to navigate through life?

Some of us have our heads held too low. We’re depressed and discouraged. Let’s be honest, you just can’t see like that. As Jesus said, “Lift up your eyes…”

Some have their noses up in the air, suffocating themselves with self-glorification. People can’t see like that either. We must not think of ourselves more highly than we ought to think (Rom. 12:3).

Some of us exist with blinders on. We do not want to see things as they really are. We live in a state of denial. It’s time for some of us to accept the truth, so we see things here, as well as witness the unseen.

God calls us to see things as the really are!

Last week I became ill, not terribly by any means, but enough to not want to go anywhere or do anything. For so many reasons, being ill carries with it such terrible feelings.

I hate the sense of feeling like a bum. I hate lying in bed, not getting dressed, and not wanting to do anything for myself. Moreover, I hate the sense in which I feel like a burden to both my wife and kids. Being sick stinks.

The thing about stomach bugs though is that a person knows they’ve got one. It’s impossible to miss that awful feeling in your gut. What’s going on inside is often externalized through appearances. It’s hard for sicknesses to go undetected, even by those around us.

The same is true of spiritual illnesses. They are generally very detectable, and yet people will often try to deny that anything is even wrong. This is so terrible. It’s hard to be sick and not know it, but it’s unfathomable to be sick and know it, have others know it too, and yet deny it!

I know I’m not the only one whose made a joke or two about “in-laws” in my lifetime. The “in-law” relationship has its own unique dynamic to it. Even when its good, you feel compelled to joke about it just because its normal.

BooBoo & LaLa with their grandkids at Animal Kingdom Lodge.

It works both ways by the way. I’ve heard numerous parents, in apparent “moments of weakness,” be forthcoming about their son-in-law or daughter-in-law. Fortunately, my my in-laws are above that kind of thing and they’ve got little to nothing negative that they could possibly say about their son-in-laws. ;>}

Today, I write to Robert & Theda Landry of Mont Belvieu, TX. They are the proud parents of Tisha Young and Tara Matson. Chris Matson and myself have the privilege of being their son-in-laws. They are widely known as BooBoo and LaLa.

Doug

BooBoo and LaLa,

I owe you both an awful lot. You’ve introduced to some of the finer things in life, things that truly are life-transfiguring.  A lot of it, but not all, is food oriented. So the “life-transfiguring” aspect of it carries with it a significant downside if not careful. HaHa! My affinity for duck gumbo is from you. How else would I have ever been introduced to Nick’s boudin? I am a sucker for boiled crawfish thanks to you both! I don’t even need to get started on Sartens’s BBQ crabs! An ahnvee! Indeed, those are some of the finer things in life!

Seriously though, I was talking to a friend the other day about how having kids changes how you look at so many things. If I knew then, what I know now, I am certain that I would have acted in a much different fashion in my high school and college years. It’s amazing what parenting brings to the table in formulating perspectives on life.

So, I look at the futures of Haylee and Aby, in particular, with a certain sense of reluctance. How can I be at ease with the decisions that, Lord willing, they will one day face? While, theoretically, I know the answer, its the execution element on my part that most concerns me.

To my knowledge I’ve never told you this, but I believe you both did an amazing job of raising your girls. Especially, the Landry girl I married. I’ll let Chris speak for Tay. Tisha’s been a wonderful wife, much better than I deserve, and an excellent mother. She brings to our family a measure of intimacy that I am certain was handed down to her from her upbringing. I see it. I embrace it.

That you’ve been amazingly patient with a rather cantankerous son-in-law, I cannot deny. I am embarrassed about a number of my past trivialities. The tension that I brought with me must have made it difficult to ascertain how family gatherings would turn out. You both were incredibly graceful in the midst of it all. If you railed on me after us having left or you guys having headed home, its OK, you probably needed to for the sheer therapeutic value of it! Looking back, I think you understood more that I’d ever imagined.

You guys are great parents, wonderful grandparents (Crispy Creme’s notwithstanding), and loyal friends to many. You guys are loved across the board. That says a lot about you!

Boo, your work ethic is second to none. You would do anything to help anyone. Those are characteristics that I hope Reese grows up to recognize about you on his own, without having to have anyone point it out. They are qualities that I hope I am able to instill in him as well.

LaLa, that I couldn’t embarrass you at All About You earlier this month tells me that we are more alike than we might want to admit. We both do more to embarrass ourselves than others can do to embarrass us. All kidding aside, I think now we no longer use humor towards each other to try and soften situations anymore. Now, I think its a sign of an incredible “in-law” love and I love it. By the way, I forgive you for not having duck gumbo over Easter weekend!

Finally, thank you for the story you shared with me after lunch on Easter Sunday. I know the girls bolted as they saw it coming, but it was a story that I needed to hear. I’ve tried to keep you guys sheltered from my ministry disappointments for a number of reasons, but I’m glad that you listened when Tisha needed you. Moreover, I am appreciative of the fact that you both responded with encouragement when you knew I needed it! Thank you to you both for everything you do. I love you both!

Your Cantankerous Son-in-Law

Tisha and I have two special friends who’ve been through a lot the last couple of years. Both are finding God as their sources of strength and are finding hope for their futures. Isaul and Angelica Verdin are two incredible people with an equally incredible son, Noah.

I’ve told them both, Isaul on more than one occasion, that I attribute to them significant credit for my continuing in ministry. They have restored in me a confidence in people that I’d all but lost. I believe God worked through them to help me better understand his purposes for me.

I didn’t know this until yesterday, but Angelica is a writer. She sent a poem to Tisha and Tisha forwarded it to me. With Angelica’s permission, I am posting it here.

Doug

Finding my way back home

As I began my journey alone
The chill cut through my bone.

It’s been such a long time on this same path.
Lord when will you ease this wrath?

My body feels so cold
And my soul seems old.

How did I lose my way?
I don’t even know where my head should lay.

I stand on this road in the rain.
My heart is stained with pain.

As I stare at the crossroads that are near,
My destination seems unclear.

In this moment I pray for grace
So I can find a better place.

My choices led me here.
I can no longer fear.

I want to find my way back home
And no longer roam.

My soul craves to feel
Something that is real.

My heart is ready to be repaired
I was childish to not have ever before dared.

I am ready to surrender
To the Lord’s splendor.

Please take me back home.

Angelica Verdin

Leonard Ravenhilll

Jennie,

I haven’t talked to you in a while, so I don’t know if you are aware of what I’ve been doing in writing these letters of late, but I thought I would let you know that once a week I have been writing and posting letters to those who mean the most to me. I began with a letter to God, then I turned my attention to dad, mom, Julie and now you. I usually post them on Mondays at my blog site.

Whether you realize it or not, you have been instrumental in my life. I don’t remember precisely when it all began, but I think it centers around you pushing that bully into the lockers at school. I think it was my first year of baseball. I must have been about nine. We practiced behind our house, across Poesta Creek. I don’t even think dad was coaching then. One of my teammates had an older bother that bullied me around one day at the practice field and I came home in tears. He went to high school with you, you found him, shoved him up against the lockers and threatened him with his life if he ever touched me again. He never did.

There have been so many things you’ve done for me over the years, that there are almost too many to number. You have a heart of gold and I think your kids carry with them the same heart. You have every reason to be proud. Your family is loved by so many. You and Gilbert have instilled in them a work ethic and a heart for people. That will carry them a long way.

Not long ago, you suggested to me that you were the “black sheep” of our family. You were wrong. I don’t think that way of you and I don’t believe Julie does either. You are not the odd one out and you definitely aren’t a disgrace. If in my past, in particular, I have given you that impression then I am asking you for your forgiveness. That our lives are different doesn’t make you a “black sheep” in my eyes. It never has and it never will!

The dynamic of my household is strikingly similar to that of ours when we were growing up: two older girls and a boy. The main difference is that there isn’t the significant age span between Aby and Reese as there is between you and me. I know I’ve told you this before, but Aby reminds me of you in so many ways. She has a wonderful heart, but you don’t want to get crossways with her. I think she senses the disadvantage of being a middle child like I think you did and probably still do. She bears so many of your qualities. This being so, there is hardly a day that goes by that you don’t cross my mind. And for that, I am so blessed. While we live over 300 miles away from each other, I still get to see you everyday!

Jennie, you are a wonderful sister, a faithful wife and a loving mother. You should be extremely proud. I know I am very proud of you. My family loves you, Gilbert, Garrett, Courtney and Gavin very much. Tell the Garrett and Gavin that when we come down for Courtney’s graduation Reese wants to wrestle. I Love you!

For some things there are just no words. No matter how hard we try, the words we conjure up just don’t seem to do the job. And that is frustrating.

So it is with the love of Christ. How do you accurately explain it? It’s virtually impossible. Know why? Because it transcends human thinking capabilities. Don’t get me wrong, we can know the love of Christ, but maybe not like we would like to.

Paul’s prayer for Christians was that they be “rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fulness of God” (Ephesians 3:17-19, ESV). I don’t think that knowing the love of Christ is a “head thing.” It’s a heart thing because that’s where he’s to dwell. Study will only get us so far. The love of Christ “that surpasses knowledge” has to be experienced.

What is it that stands out to us about Christ’s love? It’s what he did, namely, the offering of himself upon a cross for humanity. But for us to experience the transcendent love of Christ ,we must experience it with him by doing the things he did. It comes by teaching with relevance, serving with compassion, and giving with spiritual substance.

The matchless love of Christ transcends our words though. Words are the product of thought; thought is the product of knowledge; Christ’s love surpasses them all!

I am not quite finished with my next letter to my sister Jennie. I hope to have it completed and posted by tonight, but for certain no later than first thing tomorrow morning. Thanks for being patient.

Doug

Trey Morgan is putting together an effort to help raise money to feed the impoverished of Honduras. A recent announcement by Trey can be read here. The big day is May 5. Please consider helping.

Thanks.